Of course, in a hierarchical social system like we British left you, there's never been much room at the top to begin with. Let's be honest Paddy, you will never win the lottery. The chances are pretty good you will slave away at some menial job the rest of your probable short pleb life. That's because you were in all likelihood born into the wrong social class in Dublin or Belfast.
Let's be honest you're a member of the working class. Tough ! As a result you don't have the right sort of education, affirmative healthy nourished upbringing, good connections to the privileged, snotty manners, refined appearance, and acquired good taste of quality to ever become one of us. You would probably need a book the size of the yellow pages to list all the unfair advantages we have over you. That's why we're so relieved to know that you still continue to believe all those delusional media fairytales we plant in your media about "justice" and "equal opportunity" in Ireland.
Of course, in a hierarchical social system like we British left you, there's never been much room at the top to begin with. Besides, it's already occupied by us and we like it up here so much, that we intend to keep it that way. But don't get too upset, there's usually someone lower down the social hierarchy that you can feel superior to and kick in their teeth once in a while. Even if you are a lowly dishwasher, you can easily find some poor slob further down the pecking order to sneer and spit at. So be thankful for migrant workers, prostitutes, and homeless street people.
Always remember that if the likes of you were monetarily secure and privileged like us, there would be no one left, to do all those boring, dangerous, low-paid jobs. There would be no idiots to fight our wars for us like some of you Paddys still do or blindly follow orders in our totalitarian corporate institutions.
There would certainly be no one to meekly go to their early grave without having lived a full and creative life. So please, keep up the good work! Most of you probably don't have the same greedy, compulsive drive to possess wealth, power, and prestige that we have. We understand that even though you may sincerely want to change the way you live, you're also afraid of the change you desire, that ensures keeping the likes of you and suckers like you in a nervous state of limbo.
So you'll go through life mechanically playing your given social role, terrified what the neighbours would think if you ever dare to "break out of the mold."
We Brits learned a long time to play you off against each other, whenever it suits our purposes, reasonably paid workers against low-waged, unionized against non-unionized, Protestant against Catholic, Black against White, male against female, British workers against Japanese against Irish against.... We continually push your wages down talking about "foreign competition," "the law of supply and demand," "national security," or "the bloated deficit."
We throw you on the unemployed scrap heap if you dare step out of line or endanger our profits. We do give you an occasional break from the monotony of your daily economic blackmail, your allowed to participate in our stage-managed electoral tweedle-dee, tweedle-dum games, FF or FG, Adams or Robinson, better known to you ordinary Irish peasants as "elections." Happily, you haven't a clue as to what's really happening, instead, you blame, "Taigs", "Prods", "Aliens," "Tree-hugging Environmentalists," "Niggers," "Jews," Welfare Queens," "blowins," and countless others for your troubled situation.
We're also very pleased that most of you still embrace the "work ethic," even though most jobs in the economy, degrade the environment, undermine your physical and emotional health, and basically suck your one and only short life right out of you. I'm afraid we don't know much about work but we're glad you do! Of course it could be different. Ireland could be intelligently organized to meet the real needs of ordinary Irish people. You and others like you could intelligently and collectively fight to free yourselves from our domination. But you don't get it, do you ?.
In fact, you probably can't even imagine that any another way of life is possible. That's probably the greatest, most significant achievement of our British Empire's unique civil service, bequeathed to you, our first colony, robbing you of your imagination, your creativity, your ability to think or act for yourself. So we British ruling class would truly like to thank you Irish from the bottom of our heartless hearts.
Yes, there are a few of you, "Gombeens," I believe you call them, who try to be clever with new bank money and try to ape us but "Old Money" will always win the day, Your loyal sacrifice, especially our loyal commoner in the north makes all our corrupt luxury possible; your work ethic makes our system work. Thanks so much for "knowing your place" without even knowing it !
BBC BRUTISH BULLSCUTTER COPERATION Don't even give them a chance to launch their Bullscutter ! Oh, no. Brutish Bullscutter Coperation. Don't come fucking near me today. Dear Jaysus, you Kerry fucking recruits and gobshites all over the Irish media are their by-product. There are so many things I could say to express my deep mistrust and yes, anger of these new media Irish opinion makers. Their world service can be a titillating export but their rampant censorship of the restless native's replies stinks to high heaven, of arrogance, cultural imperialism and age old repression. I don't vote right wing as far as I know, so maybe that also explains my antagonism to them.
I don't believe the Brutish Bullscutter Coperation, which henceforth will be simply called the BBC, offer anything approximating legitimate alternatives for this country, indeed any country but thats their business. I disagree with their monarchy, class system of commoners, lords, inherited privilige and intolerance of diversity or alternatives. Lest you think nationalism is blinding me, do not confuse my rants against Brutish Bullscutter with the many Scottish, English and Welsh friends I have known down through the years, most of whom are the salt of the Earth in my opinion and great people.
It goes against every fibre of my being and tradition to be rude to people but you have got to stand up for your identity these days or become a smiling zombie product of their pundits and seductive manipulating bullscutter. Brutes are people too but we must take this tour d'arse with all of its insanity, as a relief from the bland sanitized, couldn't give a fuck mercenary BULLSCUTTER ! of our age.