Irish Time

Saturday, November 21, 2009

New Queen of England for Loyal Northern Commoners

The word "orgy" is evocative. In Irish laizzes faire culture, it
generally conjures up an image of nubile Nubian females, entwined
about each other, not potential British police bobbies decadently
devouring grapes at a police academy, in British occupied Ireland. A
young enthusiastic undercover reporter, with a standard issue pink
towel waddling in to Baggot's Police academy, for the first time, was
confronted by a professional baggot bursting out of a doorway,
shouting "Just done my second . . .better go and rinse my mouth out."

Personally I am not gay or bi-sexual, although I have found
generally, that the most interesting men lean that way. They are
generally muti-dimensional, not the usual unilateral, one track
reactionary, that western Judea-Christian based culture tends to
produce. Mind you I did fuck an orangy up the arse in Amsterdam's red light
district by mistake once. I mean thats where the original Willem came
from, isn't it?. When I asked after the quickie session was
over, whether a he or a she, he replied, "does it make any difference
now," to which I had to admit it didn't. Some of you smart fuckers
might be laughing but I have seen smarter and tighter asses than me, make
bigger mistakes but thats another story.

Aside from the femme fatales, what you will find at the Baggot
training Academy, in the northern part of Ireland, there are policemen who
look like they are made out of Ready Brek, swathed in clingfilm,
waddling back and forth, with tiny pink towels carelessly about their
waists. Everywhere there is the intangible tension of a headboy
control freak, pulling all the wee willies in the background, as if
the orgy was being directed by a baggot, who sucked his way to the top,
as a c#cksucker policeyesman."

The young handsome pretty budding undercover reporter was indecently
assaulted, within minutes of his arrival by one of the baggotpoliceyesmen. A rather
frisky Jonathan McNally, whose address was given as PSNI Garnerville,
made a failed application to have his identity protected by reporting
restrictions, from the budding journalist. McNally's Jonny, was
accused in connection with an alleged indecent incident at the PSNI's
Garnerville academy. McNally's Jonny pleaded not guilty at Belfast
Magistrates Court to a case against him, relating to a complaint by
the undercover reporter, following an exercise at the PSNI base in

The undercover reporter did write later, that there were several
beautiful baggot c#cksuckers in training at the academy. Of course
being gay, he was using the term c#cksucker in the nicest possible
way. He later stated, that he had heard this word,"over and over
....horrible, horrible things. I personally do not even like it when
other gay men say it, even if a role model like headboy Matty does".

He further explained, "I don’t care ..if they call each other
c* context, personally I would still bristle at it, but
I realize that there are many, many, non gay people ..who love to hunt
gays.. and all they will do is ..feel justified for their usage of
that word. "He said C#cksucker is a horrible, dangerous word,..that
should not be used lightly... It is offensive. Not until you have had
it shouted at you a passing car at night can you really
understand how damaging that word is. Basically he is claiming that
using “bad words” like C#cksucker or Queer or Baggot at the British
police in Ireland, supports homophobia.

"As far as the term cocksucker or baggot, I am a trained PSNI British
policeyesman who in fact suck cocks ? Why yes, yes I do. Do I find
that “bad word” worse than say being called a Baggot? No ! . Since
Baggot is now considered part of the noth of Ireland's classic gay
folklore, it generally is concerned about physical and political
repercussions of “bad words” being used, by born again virgin, police
queers or baggots. “Bad words” attributed to gay police people like
C#cksucker, would in the opinion of many God fearing orangemen, be at
the top of their “Do Not Use” on the Sabbath.

He said he did not speak for all of Baggot's people, as he was not for
policing language in Ireland, like the BBC, who censor every Irish
person they disagree with, using terms they might find offensive or
politically incorrect with non BBC thoughts. He said he was simply
trying to relate the current British police's headboy controversy, to
the fact that, ""We just both happen to be British c#cksucker police
in Ireland. Mind you the BBC have more than their fair share of
c#cksuckers too"

The FBI are believed to also have c#cksucker trainers at the academy.
One American FBI WASP named George said;

“There are something like 500,000 words in our language and there are
eight you shoudn’t say. What a ratio that is ! 499,992. . . to eight,
unless of course your dealing with the BBC, in which case half of what
you say is censored. So they must really be baad. They must be
OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group so large. ‘All of you 499,992
words over here, you 8, very, very baad words.’ Baggot that’s an evil
word, right? ‘That’s a really baaaaad word!’ Awwww. Bad word. Bad
thought. Bad intentions and Baggot woord go together, right !.

You know the 8, don’t ya? Like what you can’t say on normal TV, never mind
the BBC ? Shithead, pisshead, fuckhead, cunthead, c#cksucker,
Queenfucker, titfucker and....... BAGGOT... Huh? Those are the heavy 8
!. Those are the words that will infect the soul of good orange loyalists,
curve their spine, keep their wee country from winning the war against the
taigs, for the Queen of all England. Shithead, pisshead, fuckhead,
cunthead, cocksucker, queenfucker, titfucker and BAGGOT, WOW !

Does Baggot belong on the list ! It seems like such a friendly English word that would fit in any gob. Like McGuinness, says ‘Hey Baggot, come on over here mate ! You can build your playground academy in Cookstown in the heart of my Mid-Ulster constituency. Baggot me boyo, ok ! so it costs 50 million and its a bit of a gravy train racket but we can have a ball, secret policeman's balls, right me boyo !, Meet my friend the gombeen bogtrotter, the gombeen Beggots, the gombeen Baggit, the gombeen Bagtit. and of course the gombeen Bogtit, .’ Sounds like a snack ....something tasty, right ? the Urban dictionary says man, oh yeah, it is. Right. But I don’t mean your tasty sexist snack, I mean new cheesy Baggot. . . Tastier Baggot fare. Bet you can’t eat all of them !”

Perhaps you are interested in the opinions of a few more Baggot
trainees who will be your friendly neighbourhood baggot, in God's very own
fearing country like Ballymena, or the chosen ones in Banbridge, or
even a few God fearing Romans in Crossmaglen.

"I think this issue is an interesting one and re-appropriation of hate
speech is a powerful topic. Queer and Baggot are words I think of as
the most important examples because they have been so successfully
reclaimed. Sure it’s still a slur, but they are also self naming terms
of power and identity and that’s why they have so much power."
Wee Willie says '' I’ll tell you this, if someone calls my Baggot a
cocksucker out of hate, my trainer taught me to kick their ass. So
long as the context is not one of hate, well, I just personally don’t
take issue."

Ian and Peter say, ''My partner and I call each other all kinds of
names. He was born illegitimate, was adopted and then sent back. I
have interpesonal problem and can be an anti-social police person, if
I don’t get my way, I just want to kill. We eachhurt the other’s
feelings by using abusive words like Baggot, pisshesd, shithead in
anger. Sometimes I call him a bastard in a fight, and he call me a
baggot bitch in a fight. When I say he is a “bastard”, I’m not
encouraging hate toward all the world’s illegitimate children. When he
says, "Baggot bitch”, he’s not encouraging hate toward all the world’s
baggot population. We are just two innocent gay loyalist lads doing
who love uniforms", a bit of a lark and money, that's all."

Alexander says, " I'm a 'thinking republican' and I feel so bad for
British police in Ireland. Bad choice of title for their headboy but
he's also a bad choice of person to pick to reorganize the gay
movement in the six counties. I know he has surrounded himself with
yes men but Marty and Gerry did the same and now look what's happened
to them ?. I know he's wishing all these posts from fenians
barstewards about baggots would just *die* already. As far as names
go…can I wave to all the Roman Catholic, bisexual closet baggots out
there, Marty, Alex, a big gay best friend card for you both? My
partner calls me his "Baggot fag hag”. I always turn to him and say,
“if I’m the hag, that makes you…what ?”

Paddy says "As far as I am concerned a cunt is a cunt as in pink
parts. Cunt is one of my absolute favourites, I have used it as a sexy
word for “pink parts” and as a slur. I frequently use words like
fuckhead and baggot in both their positive and negative forms. The
fact that they can have such strong positive and negative meanings is
one of the reason I like them so much.

The insult is completely in intent. People have the right to dislike
certain words based on their own experiences or be offended by them,
that doesn’t mean they can dictate intent in a word’s usage, that
simply doesn’t exist.That is why I’m not offended by any word other
than baggot. Baggot is not a title I like much though, for other,......"

On a purely aesthetic level, I’m not a fan of the word Baggot. To my ears, it’s...…inelegant. That is why some gay men might use it while having sex. Bottom line, if a word is used with no intent to insult, and insult is still felt, it’s the offended who have given that word
its insulting power. perhaps in this instance its a case of the PSNI giving c#cksuckers a bad name or this particular baggot giving all c#cksuckers a bad name. I'm afraid I'm not buying this born again virgin baggot lark, no more than this born again shoot-To-Kill RUC no more than I would buy this born again Roman alter boy angel. Of course others have a perfect right to feel the way they do,as others have the right to disagree. Then of course fascists like the
supposed public service of the BBC and other British fascist institutions with their commoner servants would disagree, wouldn't they...Marty ?


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