Margaret Thatcher to be embalmed!
international | miscellaneous | news report 
Wednesday April 10, 2013 18:23
by The Undertaker 
I hereby reveal the following copy due for publication in one of Britain's papers today, but which was suppressed by the editors 'for security reasons'.
Word has been leaked from a reliable source in the undertaking business that Margaret Thatcher's body is being secretly embalmed and is scheduled to be put on display for the adoring masses in the near future. The controversial decision has been made by the Prime Minister and the Chancellor in conjunction with Mrs Thatcher's son Mark and international envoy Tony Blair, sanctioned by royal permission from the Queen. The funeral mortuary will be built at an as yet undisclosed location in central London, obliterating the site of a council sink estate which has been placed under a compulsory purchase order.
Taxpayer money will be used to fund both the purchase and the edifice yet to be constructed, as well as to maintain the 7 day, 24 hour private security contractors that will be required to keep the building and its contents safe for eternity. The architecture is rumoured to be modelled on the state mortuary that houses Kim Jong Il in Pyongyang, North Korea and also the US embassy in Baghdad, but in this case the union jack will fly from the summit alongside the Falklands flag. Iain Duncan Smith's Workfare scheme has been marked to provide the huge unskilled workforce that will be required for the task.
World celebrities expected to attend the funeral service at St. Paul's Cathedral include dignitaries as diverse as Henry Kissinger, Tommy Suharto, son of the former Indonesian dictator, Donald Rumsfeld, Baby Doc Duvalier, Polly Toynbee, Roy Hattersley, Zachary DeLorean, Rupert Murdoch, Norman Tebbit and Pol Pot's daughter Saloth Sitha. A surprise bouquet of flowers has been sent by Martin McGuinness, former chief of staff in the Provisional IRA, with the words 'sorry for the unseemly parties in Belfast and Derry by misguided republicans' on it.
Taxpayer money will be used to fund both the purchase and the edifice yet to be constructed, as well as to maintain the 7 day, 24 hour private security contractors that will be required to keep the building and its contents safe for eternity. The architecture is rumoured to be modelled on the state mortuary that houses Kim Jong Il in Pyongyang, North Korea and also the US embassy in Baghdad, but in this case the union jack will fly from the summit alongside the Falklands flag. Iain Duncan Smith's Workfare scheme has been marked to provide the huge unskilled workforce that will be required for the task.
World celebrities expected to attend the funeral service at St. Paul's Cathedral include dignitaries as diverse as Henry Kissinger, Tommy Suharto, son of the former Indonesian dictator, Donald Rumsfeld, Baby Doc Duvalier, Polly Toynbee, Roy Hattersley, Zachary DeLorean, Rupert Murdoch, Norman Tebbit and Pol Pot's daughter Saloth Sitha. A surprise bouquet of flowers has been sent by Martin McGuinness, former chief of staff in the Provisional IRA, with the words 'sorry for the unseemly parties in Belfast and Derry by misguided republicans' on it.
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Jump To Comment: 1A crowd assembled in Glasgow's George Square where in 1989 protests to the introduction of Thatcher's poll tax took place.Some wore party hats and streamers while a bottle of champagne was cracked with a toast to the deathof Baroness Thatcher.
The Anti-Bedroom Tax Federation, the Communist Party, the Socialist Party, the Socialist Working Party, the International Socialist Group, were also joined by the public to mark the occasion. People also gathered in Brixton, south London the scene of fierce riots in 1981 two years into her first time in office.
In British Occupied Ireland a crowd gathered in Derry to 'celebrate' the death. Many waving Tricolour flags gathered at the famous Free Derry Corner in the city's Bogside. Chinese lanterns were lit as families gathered in the area. Crowds also gathered on the Falls Road in west Belfast. TH he left did little to disguise their jubilation at her death.
However there was one notable in Martin McGuinness, who after attending the last Tory conference, the courtisied to the Queen while embracing her white glove with his naked commoner flesh he then ordered all celebrations of Thatchers death to cease.
George Galloway, ex-Labour , denounce her policies on apartheid and Ireland. “May she burn in the hellfires. She was a witch.” Former Mayor of London Ken Livingstone, when the Greater London Council was abolished by Lady Thatcher, said “She created today’s housing crisis, she produced the banking crisis, she created the benefits crisis. Every real problem we face today is the legacy of the fact she was fundamentally wrong.”
Musician celebrity, Morrissey, long a critic of Baroness Thatcher, berated her as "barbaric, without an atom of humanity". His creations include, tracks such as Margaret On The Guillotine. He claimed she was "charged by negativity" and said she "closed" rather than opened the doors for women as the first female PM.He further said: "Thatcher is remembered as The Iron Lady because she possessed completely negative traits with as persistent stubbornness and refusal to listen to others.
"Every move she made was charged by negativity; she destroyed the British manufacturing industry, she hated the miners, she hated the arts, she hated the Irish freedom fighters and allowed them to die, she hated the English poor and did nothing at all to help them, she hated Greenpeace and environmental protectionists, she was the only European political leader who opposed a ban on the Ivory Trade, she had no wit and no warmth and even her own Cabinet booted her out.
Thatcher will only be fondly remembered by sentimentalists who did not suffer under her leadership, but the majority of British working people have forgotten her already, and the people of Argentina will be celebrating her death. As a matter of recorded fact, Thatcher was a terror without an atom of humanity," he said.
Film director Ken Loach described her as "an enemy of the working class. Margaret Thatcher was the most divisive and destructive Prime Minister of modern times. Mass unemployment, factory closures, communities destroyed – this is her legacy. She was a fighter and her enemy was the British working class. Her victories were aided by the politically corrupt leaders of the Labour Party and of many Trades Unions. It is because of policies begun by her that we are in this mess today.
"Other prime ministers have followed her path, notably Tony Blair. She was the organ grinder, he was the monkey. Remember she called Mandela a terrorist and took tea with the torturer and murderer Pinochet.How should we honour her? Let’s privatise her funeral. Put it out to competitive tender and accept the cheapest bid. It's what she would have wanted."
Provisional Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams said Thatcher caused "great hurt to the Irish and British people. Working class communities were devastated in Britain because of her policies..Margaret Thatcher will be especially remembered for her shameful role during the epic hunger strikes of 1980 and 81.Her Irish policy failed miserably."
The general secretary of Durham Miners' Association said Baroness Thatcher's death was a "great day" for coal miners.Ex-miner David Hopper, 70, spent all of his working life at Wearmouth Colliery, said: "It looks like one of the best birthdays I have ever had. There's no sympathy from me for what she did to our community. She destroyed our community, our villages and our people. For the union this could not come soon enough and I'm pleased that I have outlived her. It's a great day for all the miners, I imagine we will have a counter demonstration when they have her funeral. Our children have got no jobs and the community is full of problems. There's no work and no money and it's very sad the legacy she has left behind. She absolutely hated working people and I have got very bitter memories of what she did. She turned all the nation against us and the violence that was meted out on us was terrible. I would say to those people who want to mourn her that they're lucky she did not treat them like she treated us.
Darren Vaines, 47, a former miner who worked in West Yorkshire and was on strike for 12 months said: "It's a very strange emotional feeling because her death brings back a lot of memories and opens up a wound that has never really healed. The cut went so deep people have never been able to forget about it. It's something they can never get out of their system." His friend and colleague David Jones was killed at 24 when violence erupted on a picket line at Ollerton, Nottinghamshire in 1984, also said many communities have never come to terms with Mrs Thatcher's actions.
Baroness Thatcher’s divisive legacy continues with not just old political foes who appeared to welcome her death. When the news reached National Union of Students (NUS) conference, it was met with applause and cheering.
The Guardian with an article titled "Martin McGuinness tells republicans to stop celebrating Thatcher's death" stated :
"Martin McGuinness has called for an end to republicans organising parties to celebrate Margaret Thatcher's death, even though she was the IRA's No 1 target when he was the Provisionals' chief of staff during the 1980s.
In a move that surprised many republicans, the Sinn Féin deputy first minister said on Tuesday that people should not celebrate Lady Thatcher's death.
Celebrations were held in McGuinness' home city of Derry: dissident republicans held a party close to the spot of the Bloody Sunday massacre on Monday, the night of her death.
In republican West Belfast, people gathered near a mural dedicated to the memory of the IRA hunger strike Bobby Sands to celebrate the former prime minister's death. People drank beer and released Chinese lanterns into the air, while passing motorists on the Falls Road honked car horns.
But McGuinness, who was once one of the most powerful figures in the Provisional IRA, implored republicans and nationalists to "resist celebrating the death of Margaret Thatcher". Sinn Féin's chief negotiator during negotiations for the IRA ceasefire and the peace process said: "She was not a peacemaker, but it is a mistake to allow her death to poison our minds."
Unionist politicians denounced the partying as ghoulish and disgusting. Further celebrations in republican redoubts of Northern Ireland are planned for Lady Thatcher's funeral next week.
Jim Allister, a hardline Traditional Unionist Voice member of the Stormont Assembly, said: "What an insight into the depravity of IRA supporters: their ghoulish street parties to celebrate the death of Mrs Thatcher."
Jonathan Bell, a Democratic Unionist Assembly member for Strangford, said: "While many will differ on policy, such is the nature of the democratic process, all right-thinking people will regard the carnival celebrations following Baroness Thatcher's death deeply inappropriate. At a time of bereavement there should be human compassion for those in mourning."
Unionist politicians were not the only ones denouncing the street parties. David Ford, the leader of the centrist Alliance Party and the justice minister of Northern Ireland, said that while many people disagreed with Baroness Thatcher's policies, "this is no cause for the scenes we have witnessed".
Ford added: "There can never be any justification for the celebration of the death of another human. It is wrong and they should not have taken place."
Alan Shatter, his counterpart in the Irish Republic, also criticised Gerry Adams, the Sinn Féin president, for claiming Lady Thatcher caused huge hurt to the Irish people. Shatter said Adams should remember that the Provisional IRA caused a great deal of hurt during the Troubles.
Shatter said: "I think those who comment critically on Margaret Thatcher, in particular those in Sinn Féin who do so, shouldn't be allowed to forget that they were directly responsible, and the Provisional IRA, were responsible for a murderous bombing of a Conservative Party conference that resulted in the death of a number of people."
The Irish Justice Minister was commenting on the IRA's attempt to kill Lady Thatcher and her cabinet in the 1984 Brighton Bomb. Following the explosion at the Grand Hotel during the Tory Party conference, the IRA warned that it "only had to be lucky once" in its bids to kill the prime minister. The IRA blamed Thatcher for the deaths of 10 republican prisoners during the 1981 hunger strike. Brighton was seen by many, both republicans and their enemies, as a revenge attack.
Republican leaders have subsequently claimed that it was Lady Thatcher's stubborn refusal to bend to the prisoners' demands for political status that prolonged the 1981 hunger strike. However, some republicans, including Richard O'Rawe, the former press officer for the IRA inside the Maze prison in 1981, have claimed there is evidence that the Thatcher government offered a compromise on the prisoners' demands in early July 1981 that could have ended the hunger strike and saved six lives.
The suggestion appears to be that Thatcher, while instinctively pro-unionist, was far more pragmatic than ideological in directing Northern Ireland policy. Four years after the hunger strike, she stunned unionists by signing the Anglo-Irish Agreement which gave the republic a say in the running of Northern Ireland. Her decision provoked widespread anger within the unionist community, who accused her of betrayal. Later at a mass protest involving more than 200,000 unionists at Belfast City Hall, her effigy was burned alongside that of the Irish tricolour. For that reason, while the union flag will fly half mast next week during her funeral, there is likely to be no mass outpouring of grief, even in unionist strongholds, where many have never forgiven her perceived treachery."
Cill Dara Shinn Féin Poblachtach staement :
"Thatcher dies: memory of Hunger Strikers lives on
The announcement of the death of the former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher on April 8 immediately brought to mind all of those who were victims of her policies and unrelenting right-wing ideology.
It affects us here in Ireland as well but around the world both directly and indirectly by her unstinting support for fascist regimes such as that of Augusto Pinochet in Chile.
In Ireland we of course think at once of the 1981 hunger strikes and the stonehearted response of Thatcher’s government to any appeal to a common humanity. The Patron of Republican Sinn Féin Ruairí Ó Brádaigh says that one of his abiding memories of the 1981 election campaign in support of the prisoner candidates is that at the very mention of the name Bobby Sands people would raise their heads whereas when Margaret Thatcher’s name was uttered people’s heads would drop.
Speaking on RTÉ radio’s News At One programme on April 8 the former deputy-leader of the SDLP Séamus Mallon stated that Thatcher viewed the 26-County State as merely a colony of Britain.
Under Thatcher a vicious war of terror was waged on the nationalist people of the Six Counties, which included a stepping up of the collusion between British State forces and loyalist death squads.
Human rights lawyers such as Pat Finucane, assassinated by a British-backed loyalist death squad in 1988, became prime targets of a British State determined to crush all opposition to its hold on Ireland.
To understand Thatcher you must grasp that she was an unreconstructed colonialist who could not imagine the sun ever setting on a fast-diminishing British world dominance.
Her imperialist adventure to wrest Las Malvinas back from Argentina in 1982 seemed more like something from 1882 but was very much part of the image she wished to cultivate.
Cloaking herself in jingoism and intolerance she was prepared to murder over 323 young Argentinean sailors on the Belgrano in order to bolster her grip on power in Britain.
Within her own State she had no scruples about waging war on entire communities and almost the entire trade union movement, openly declaring that the miners were “the enemy within”.
The scars of the social upheaval caused by Thatcherism are all too evident in the Britain of 2013. As one commentator noted she was prepared to sacrifice two-thirds of her people in order to satisfy one-third. Her legacy was one of polarisation and increased inequality.
From an Irish perspective she epitomised a British political establishment that had failed to learn from its experience by continuing to implement the same polices of coercion and oppression in response to the Irish people’s demand for national freedom. Sadly her successors seem as blinkered in their approach to Ireland.
The continued repression directed against Irish Republicans simply prolongs the conflict while internationally Thatcher’s faith in an unregulated market helped sow the seeds of the present world economic collapse with its dire consequences for working people throughout Europe and around the world.
So on this day we do not mourn her passing but here in Ireland we proudly remember those who died in defiance of her attacks on freedom and democracy.'
Party Pooper Grieving McGuinness